We Can Forgive AND Forget

Thirty years ago I began work for UPS at an airport facility. It was great! I loved working outside on aircraft, constantly surrounded by action and, at the same time, surrounded by land as far as the eye can see. Philadelphia International Airport is over two-thousand acres large with four runways -- lots of wiiiiide open spaces, making the land attractive to lots of wildlife as well as to me. Although the ground around our facility was "ours," if we failed to develop it, and protected species chose the land as their habitat, it would force the government to name it as reserve, and we would lose the property for future operations. As a result, we brought in heavy equipment and continually graded and dug up those areas. Level, overturn, level, overturn -- it was an endless cycle to ensure nothing could survive there.

This morning I was reading Proverbs 17:9:

"He who covers a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates friends."

The study guide I was using asked me to replace some of the phrases with modern euphemisms: "He who forgives and forgets seeks love, but he who rehashes wrongs separates friends." I wrote. I recalled sitting in church when one of our children was about six or seven. The pastor used the word "forgiveness." Her little voice whispered next to me, "Did he say, 'forgotness'?" How astute! I'm sure she didn't realize, but praise God, the Holy Spirit rendered that amazing assessment through her!

We hear all the time, "I can forgive, but I can't forget." In Christ, you can. When true forgiveness takes place, forgetness becomes it's partner in labor. When we are willing to let something go, that means we are willing to forget it. As we forgive by the help of the Holy Spirit, we feel the pain or anger begin to disappear, sometimes instantaneously, sometimes over time. As we continue to surrender to the Holy Spirit's work, we will begin to realize we have no recollection of ever being outside of fellowship with this person, or if we do, we can't exactly recall why. Forgotness grows because peace and love have sown their seeds in place of the offense. 

Going back to the overturned ground, nothing can settle there -- turtles can't lay their eggs there, eagles can't nest in trees; nothing can grow there -- not water plants or food for wildlife. Unforgiveness is like that. Unforgiveness, the rehashing of hurts, the cutting open of old wounds, the overturning of anything that has begun to cover over and restore smoothness to rough ground, keeps growth, sustenance and new life at bay. When the memory of wrongs begins to fade, and forgotness sprouts up to take their place, unforgiveness comes along like an excavator and digs up that hurt, stirring that soil so that peace and love are unable to settle, ripping out the roots of the Holy Spirit's work and preventing growth. Forgiveness does the opposite. In the stillness of a heart not constantly overturned by thoughts of unforgiveness, forgotness grows because peace and love make their home there. Forgiveness makes a safe, stable place for the seeds of peace and love to take root and forgotness to grow. Forgiveness says, "I am willing to let this go; I am willing to allow the Holy Spirit to erase not only my hurt, but any memory of this whole thing." Forgiveness says, "I am more interested in my forward movement, in your forward movement, and in the forward movement of our relationship, than I am in constantly revisiting this hurt." Forgiveness is the stable, fertile ground in which peace and love are sown, and forgotness bursts to life, bearing the fruit of relationship.