Loving Judas

Easter is only days away, and I cannot help but spend a little extra time meditating on Judas' betrayal of Jesus. It is as fascinating to me as it is disturbing. I have as many questions as reasons to be eternally grateful.

For instance, how did Judas eat, sleep, walk, and worship alongside the King of kings, the Messiah, the Lamb, for something like three years, and still sell such a Man for the price of a slave? 

In my youth, I betrayed some very dear people. I never set out to hurt anyone, but I never set out to truly help anyone either. That is, anyone but myself. I was playing both ends against the middle, pretending to have it all together. I wound up hurting people who trusted me, people who cared for me. On some level, I guess I can identify with Judas, doing wretched things -- even to good people -- as a means of looking out for #1. After all, when you are a child of the world, that's all you've got.

How did the other disciples eat, sleep, walk, and worship alongside a thief and traitor like Judas, and not know what he was? 

Years ago, I was involved in litigation. My child had been abused. The testimony of a witness would have prevented my child's abuser from any further contact with us and, by extension, any further abuse. There was such a witness. Who took the stand and lied. She betrayed me and my innocent child, sentencing us to years of turmoil. I was nauseous, terrified, hopeless, and profoundly crushed. To this day, I have no idea what possessed her to do such a thing; I never saw it coming.

Though the disciples may not have known Judas' heart, Jesus did. How did Jesus lovingly, selflessly, for three years, minister to the man who stole from His ministry, who lived for that which was contrary to everything Jesus taught, who would one day betray Him unto death? 

There is someone in my life who hates (?), really dislikes (?), is jealous of (?), cannot stand the sight of (?) me. My regular interactions with this person are like nailing Jell-O to the wall. This person insists on his/her own way to the point of being beyond reason. If this person is not permitted to steal from me or infringe on my personal property in some way, this person will throw a tantrum. (I am not joking, nor am I exaggerating. I have never seen anything like it in my life.) The police, the House of Representatives, the United Nations and any other form of authority you can imagine could waltz in with multiple writs of prohibition, and this person would insist on his/her right to do exactly as he/she pleases. Once I got past the point of arguing and fighting with this person, I began laughing at the absurdity of it all. But the Holy Spirit has been telling me that is not the correct response either.

Love them. Do good to them. Bless them. Pray for them (Luke 6:27-28). That's what Jesus tells us. And the Holy Spirit through Paul tells us how to love: with patience and kindness; humbly and selflessly; honestly, hopefully, and endlessly (1 Corinthians 13:4-8). Specifically, in Romans: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink" (12:20). And again, God speaks through Peter: "Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called," (1 Peter 3:9). All this Jesus did for the one He knew would betray Him; Jesus saw it coming and loved anyway. 

In spite of, or perhaps, because of a traitor, Easter is the celebration of what Jesus did -- for all. He loves each one of us with everything He's got. Even those who betray Him when given the chance.