Thursday, March 23, 2023

Are You Spreading Gossip or Grace?

When was the last time you really thought about or heard a message on gossip? Let's face it, our society treats gossip as acceptable, and sadly, so do many Christian circles --providing it's about "someone else." In my younger years, housewives craved the latest details on some celebrity's affair from STAR magazine. Today, it's TMZ and paparazzi that seem to keep our 20-somethings riveted to their phones. And prayer requests --yes, I said prayer requests-- become an outlet for some of the juiciest tidbits on others. So, before I dive in, let me just say, I am preaching to myself here. I have found myself listening to things, saying things, and telling myself, "It's not gossip." Well, Girlfriend, if you've gotta take that second to tell yourself what it 'isn't,' perhaps it is. 

Tim Cameron, in his book, The Forty-Day Word Fast, defines gossip as: sharing information with someone about a problem or person when the person we are sharing it with is not part of the problem or the solution to the problem. The Bible says that gossip is sinister, invasive, destructive:

With their mouths the godless destroy their neighbors, but through knowledge the righteous escape. ~ Proverbs 11:9

 A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends. ~ Proverbs 16:28

The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts... The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. ~ Proverbs 18:8,21

There is no middle ground. I only gossip occasionally, or I don't spread it, but I listen to my neighbor talk about her family all the time. Scripture says:

A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much. ~ Proverbs 20:19

Did you catch that? Avoid. Don't even stand there "uh-huh"ing while you think about your grocery list. Get out of there!

And this:

He who is not with Me is against Me, and he who does not gather with Me scatters abroad. ~ Matthew 12:30

If we are gossiping, or even entertaining or encouraging it with our silence, we are not gathering. Jesus longed to gather Israel together; He calls us to Himself; in Him we are His body (singular). If we are not building others up, encouraging unification in Christ, we are not gathering with Him and therefore, we are against Him.

There is no "innocent" gossip. You might think that because you don't even know the person or because it's some big celebrity who doesn't care what you think gossip is meaningless. [And, just as an aside, all of that gossip about our public officials: what he said, what she did in contexts other than how they serve their constituency? Gossip. If he is constantly tripping up the stairs, what does that say about his leadership? I agree, if he is leading a step aerobics class. If she had multiple affairs, what does that say about her character? Did you have any illusions about her character to begin with? We are to be praying for those in authority. We are to submit to them(!), as their authority was given to them by God.] Gossip is wrong whether it is discovered or not, whether it does any "real damage" or not.

I'm sure the Adversary just loves prayer groups. I'm pretty sure that when he sees people start to gather to "share their requests," he sits back, rubbing his hands together and waits: It won't take long for this to devolve into gossip. And he's right. And it does. The who, the what, the where, the why. Doesn't God already know what's going on? Imagine how our prayers would go if we didn't know all the dirty details! Imagine how God could use those moments to shape our vision and our prayers into fortresses, the places where our desires meet His, the bedrock upon which we come to Him on behalf of this concern day after day in victory! And the negativity that we can breed in requiring and supplying all the info! Tell me just how badly you feel, or Let me give you my opinion about the situation before you pray. We moan and lament, focusing on what we see with human eyes and hear with human ears, inserting ourselves into the issue rather than trusting God to be God. When God does move in that person or situation, we are still entrenched in the natural realm: Well, You know his track record, God, or I'll wait and see if this lasts. We position ourselves to be a part of what the Enemy wants to do rather than what God will do.

Gossip is a habit we develop. If we listen just out of courtesy, if we just say this one thing, if we talk about people we don't know who don't know us, if we share juuuust a little too much in the name of "discussing a prayer concern" (we shouldn't be discussing, we should be praying, btw) we are cultivating a habit. A habit that sets itself up in our innermost parts, that separates good friends, that divides the body, that is antithetical to the oneness and wholeness Christ purchased with His blood at Calvary.

Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. ~ Ephesians 4:29

Photo courtesy LuAnn Martin

No comments:

Post a Comment