Love and Pain

One of the books I began reading during "August hiatus" was Stronger, by Brian "Head" Welch, a founding member of the band Korn. I love the way Head keeps it real in each devotion. I imagine his testimony as being similar to the Gentiles in Acts as they began to know Jesus as their Savior. They had some sinful behavior they needed to forego, as we all do, but they did not seek to "become Jewish." They were followers of Christ, and that is all they sought to be. Head has tattoos he doesn't attempt to hide beneath a suit. He uses all he has, his love for his fans, his creativity, and artistic talent to speak to them about Jesus. 

The "Day Three" devotional in his book speaks of pain. Genesis 6:6 says, "The Lord was grieved that He had made man on the earth, and His heart was filled with pain." Welch writes:

"Have you ever had your heart broken so bad that you wished you weren't alive to feel the pain? The only relief for that sort of piercing heartbreak comes when you're sleeping. When you wake up in the morning, you wonder if the horrible experience was all a nightmare, but when reality sets in, the agonizing pain slowly pours into your heart as you awake. If we, as human beings, can feel that much pain after our hearts are shattered into a million pieces, then I wonder what it feels like for God to have His heart crushed as it says in Genesis 6:6... I John 4 tells us that God is love. God is where love comes from and He is what love is all about. I can't even imagine what it would feel like for pure love to be 'filled with pain.'"

We've all known pain. In a devotion for another day, Head opines, "the second half of life is where most people face the most pain." I have to agree with him on that one. In my experience, some of the terrible decisions I made in the first part of life have returned in the form of consequences. Pain is bad, but knowing you gave it breath by your own willful rebellion adds a whole different dimension. As our children have grown and we have added their children and their relationships to the mix, as we have come into fellowship with more people, as we have changed careers and the internet has opened up connections across the globe, we have experienced pain not only of our own but of those we love. We have prayed for and cried for people we have never met; their circumstances or the distance that has separated us has been a source of tremendous pain. We have grieved the loss of some of those relationships, and that nagging question, why? fills us with sadness.

God created mankind and there was pain. As Welch says, the epicenter, the fount, the source, Love itself "filled with pain." Anyone who has ever experienced the kind of pain Welch talks about, the piercing heartbreak that abates only when one is asleep, instinctively guards against that sort of thing ever happening again. They put up walls, refuse to love again, harden their hearts against feeling anything. Not God. His pain at mankind's sin is beyond our imagination, but so is His love. He didn't recoil, He restored. He didn't turn His back, He bared His back to the brutality of Roman soldiers. He didn't protect His life, He laid it down. And He loves the way one would expect only Love to do.