Blessed by Stress

I sat down to write the other day. I had it all planned; I knew exactly what I wanted to say. By the time my fingertips hit the keys, my thoughts scattered and whorled like leaves in the wind. I just could not get my words to say what I meant; I could not stay on point. I pushed through. *Type, type, type. Delete, delete.* *Type. Delete.* Over and over, until it was finally complete. Nothing about it seemed right. Hours later, it was on my mind as I went to bed. I awakened an hour before my alarm, still thinking about my post. How could something that seemed like such a great idea turn out so poorly? How could something so important to me be so tedious to produce?

As I opened the pages of my journal, the words poured forth:

"God, You are in charge of it all; and You are worthy of, at least, my full attention, of all I can give. I am in a dark place; I am focused on me. That's one of the reasons I couldn't write yesterday. My writing is something You gave me, to bring attention to You. Instead, I focused on my design and execution. And now, in a way, I am focusing on my failure. The first thought to come to mind when I awakened was my failure. My failure was on my mind when I inhaled those carbs yesterday afternoon. My failure overshadows my even my mood at this moment."

And then, as if rising up from within me, this:

"The heavens declare the glory of God;And the firmament shows His handiwork.Day unto day utters speech,And night unto night reveals knowledge.There is no speech nor languageWhere their voice is not heard..."

I opened my Bible and began to write Psalm 19.

Even the heavens declare God's glory in a language all the world can understand. I had spent much of the day before stressing over words; words that, had I sought to bring glory to God, would have come forth in a language all could understand. The firmament rejoices in the seemingly mundane rising and setting of the sun, day after day -- because it is for the glory of the Lord God! I can rest in His authority, in His plan for me; I can trust the dominion of Almighty God. He is Lord, and His law is perfect, unwavering, unfailing; His judgments are true and righteous altogether. More to be desired than gold; sweeter than honey and the honeycomb. Authored and enforced in perfect wisdom, knowledge, and love! His plans and purposes are flawless. The Lord can keep me from dangers seen and unseen, from within and without. "Search me and know my heart; try me and know my anxieties; see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in Your way for all eternity." (Psalm 139:23-24)

God is worthy. Worthy to be praised. Worthy to be first and foremost on our minds. Worthy of our obedience and surrender in all we say, think, and do. In His great love, He gives us talents and opportunities to serve Him and bring glory to His name. In His great love, He stewards those talents and opportunities, even when we do not. As He did at Babel, I pray God would continue to confound my thoughts when they do not reflect His thoughts; I pray He would trouble my plans when they are not His plans. And I pray He would do the same for you.