I'll Be Home for Christmas

Christmas in the Northeast! The mystical powers of hot chocolate warming hands and hearts. Snow-flocked trees that stretch farther than aisle six of the local home improvement store. Carols and candlelight. Walk-thru light displays, drive-thru light displays, life-sized living nativities, and any other hyphenated holiday activity you can imagine. Quaint shops beckon givers in from the cold. Families gather, coats piled on a bed in the guest room. Memories of Christmases past. Every Christmas I have ever celebrated (save one) has been celebrated right here in the Northeast. Our home. Now that may not seem very adventurous to you; perhaps it isn't. But being home for Christmas, commemorating the season in ways that are familiar --and developing new traditions here and there --is, to me, one of the principal elements of Christmas. Before you get all Jesus is the reason for the season! on me, allow me to explain.

We've gotten to be a certain age, my husband and me. We have lost friends this year, and friends have lost spouses this year. We have friends right now who, for lack of a better euphemism, are facing the beginning of the end. It has weighed heavily on our hearts. But in that heaviness, God has spoken through His Word, through the words of others, that this is not our home. We are sojourners and pilgrims. We are servants of the Most High, given a commission, and retained here to complete it. We are to be in this world, not of it; to love our neighbors and pray for those in authority, much as the exiles in Babylon were commanded to do; and in so doing, to bring glory to God. In this season, we are reminded that our Savior, Jesus Christ, Himself being God, left His home and came to us. His very name, Immanuel, means God with us. God, in the body of a man, far from His heavenly home --one much better than the likes of this world --to be our representative, our example, our salvation. This world was not His home. Nor did it welcome Him (nor does it welcome Him today) with open arms. Being in our home, surrounded by our familiar "Christmas things," engaging in our Christmas traditions, sitting on the sofa shoulder-to-shoulder with family decked in pj's, reminds me that, as good as this is, Jesus left His home to give us something far better. Jesus was uncomfortable so that I could be comfortable; not here in this world --though I think I live far too comfortably, with roots far too deep --but in the Kingdom of God; for now, working to bring the joy and hope of heaven to Earth, but knowing this is not where my journey will end.

Matthew 18:2-5, records Jesus' words about childlike faith and humility. He spoke them, standing before His listeners, as a full-grown man, a God-Man who came to humanity as a newborn. He was fully aware of what it meant to be a child in their society: He condescended to be one. And my memories of Christmases past, childlike wonder, warm and fighting sleep in the backseat of my parents' sedan as we traveled from house to house on Christmas Eve; big bows on choir robes, and footie pajamas; tossing and turning until what seemed to be the wee-est hours of the morning in anticipation of what waited under a tinseled tree. Innocent and trusting. Home was wherever my parents were. This, too, is the point of Christmas, of this place not being our home. Though this may indeed be where we are most comfortable celebrating, though this may be what is most familiar, our home is where our Father is. Our home is not streets of gold or pearly gates any more than it is Luci snoring by a fireplace decked with balsam fir or festive stockings hanging low with the weight of generosity. Staying put right here in the Northeast --or wherever you hang your hat --in this place that I know as intimately as my own skin, awakens the knowledge that my Father knows me as no other, better than I know myself, and He is my true Home. This is just a backseat, this is just a choir loft, this is just a place I can lay my head and sip hot chocolate, a place I can be grateful for traditions and cozy December nights; but He is my Home. And where He is, there I will be also. Right here, in our home and in our hearts.

Midweek: Step Eight

Will you help me?

The words sat there on my screen. Years ago, I would have been guilted into, been bullied into, or self-promoted my way into helping. I sure don't want this person to be mad at me. Or, I can help because I am that strong and that resourceful. But Jesus has changed me. He's taught me boundaries and the power of prayer. I've seen what He can do when people lean on Him rather than those around them. And I've learned that I am no one's Savior. To help in this case would mean exposing my family to various levels of risk. To help could cause all sorts of legal issues. To help might actually be encouraging the behavior that got this person into the mess in the first place. I politely but firmly said, Not in the way in which you are asking. An answer which was met with a thanks-for-nothing attitude. Confirmation.

Step Eight says, I made a list of all persons I had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. We are at another list-making step in Walking the Twelve Steps with Jesus Christ. As is sometimes the case with lists we make, a list can actually hinder our progress if we don't choose to accept that list-making is for the purpose of activity and commit to that activity. So, this is a list of people we have wronged, harmed; an easy place to become stuck in shame and self-absorbed thinking. Yes, even thinking poorly of oneself is self-absorbed. But we are making a list for a purpose, putting victims and consequences to our bad choices, seeking in a later step to make amends when possible, and paying attention to even the smallest of ripples our addiction has caused. Step Eight not only includes those we have seen face-to-face, but those who we have never seen because of broken relationships; grandchildren or nieces and nephews kept safe by courageous, dutiful parents who do not want their children exposed to the insanity of our addiction --even if it meant dissolving a relationship. This step understands their response and credits them for it while recognizing our actions as the impetus for theirs. Also included is a general examination of our opinions of and behavior toward certain groups of people. Have we, in our addiction, committed crimes which we have justified by saying "those people" deserve it? Have we treated other addicts poorly and without human compassion because we see our broken selves in them? Like an onion, this is a step which could be peeled back, layer after layer over many years. But it needs to be made, as I mentioned, with a clear commitment to action and for the purpose of learning to keep our list of offenses short.

When the above person asked for my help, two things came to mind. First, this person was not really making a request: to request anything of anyone is to be grateful your request was considered and to be prepared for a refusal. This is the attitude behind our list in Step Eight. As I mentioned, activity is forthcoming, and things may not turn out as we plan; regardless the outcome, the purpose is healing. The response of another cannot make us whole; only Jesus can. Secondly, how far Jesus has brought me! Twenty years ago, I secretly would have provided "help", knowing my husband would have been furious. Fifteen years ago, I would have blamed the No squarely on my husband. Even five years ago, I would have refused, but I definitely would have started a fight when I received the person's snarky response. However, because of Jesus, I established a boundary, confident it was the right response, and I accepted whatever this person had to say --snarky or not --as the result of their issues talking; not adding to my list of persons I had harmed or things for which I need to make amends.

The cycle of shame that feeds our bad behavior, addictive or otherwise can be broken with Jesus. One step at a time.

  

What Would Change Your Life This Christmas?

The interviewer posed the question: What could someone have said or spoken over you to change the trajectory of your life? "Interesting question," I thought. "What would be my answer?" She wasn't asking me, however; I was listening to an interview with two pastors whose faithfulness I admire. The first gave his answer: You are someone; you are worth something, and there is hope. "Oooh, good answer! I could've used that," I thought. The second pastor spoke the answer that came up from my heart and dissipated all those warm fuzzies I was feeling from the first pastor: I just needed to obey. That right there was a truth bomb, and it had hit me a split-second before the sound of his words had hit my ears. There was something for me to learn here.

Let me first say, both pastors were preaching the Gospel. God demonstrated through the incarnation of His Son that we are all worth something; He gave us all hope, but a greater brand of hope than we could have ever imagined --eternal Hope. Jesus demonstrated it with His blood! That's what we are worth to Him. And just as He obeyed His Father in making a way for the One True God to be our Father through His flesh, we are to obey as He did. We just need to obey. 

But why? 

1. Because He is God. Plain and simple, cut and dried. He is worthy, and His worth is not up for debate.

2. Because He gave His life for us (not quid pro quo, but homage. I'll get back to the quid pro quo thing.)

3. Because if He is willing to lay down His life for us, He must love us. And if He is all-knowing, all-powerful, omnipresent, and immutable; if He is Faithful and True, why would we not trust Him implicitly? Would He ever mislead us? Did He save us just to destroy us? Does He hold it over our heads: "See, see what I did for you? I died for you: you owe Me?" No more than a chair says to us, "You were so tired yesterday. You sat in me and I held you up; I provided a place for you to rest: you owe me." We are free to walk around thinking fire insurance is enough, just as we are free to walk around thinking that to have a chair is refreshing. But is it? We demonstrate our belief in Jesus and His sacrifice and His resurrection; we demonstrate the sufficiency of His work and His person by entering into a covenant relationship with Him and, because He is perfect, because He knows best, because He knows all and has all power, because He loves us better than we could ever love ourselves, we obey; we follow His plan. As I mentioned before, there is no quid pro quo, but when One demonstrates His integrity and love, is He not worthy of ours?

The Christmas season is all about the trajectory of life --of many lives --being changed. The demonstration by a perfect God that we are worth something: Here is Hope. And the call to follow and obey because Hope has come and desires a covenant relationship with us.

Thanks be to God for His indescribable Gift!

Positively Unpopular

This year seems to have been one of transformation --and not necessarily in ways we would typically label "good." We've lost iconic talent and steadfast Christian leaders. From Bertucci's to Burger King to Bear Grylls, bankruptcy impacted them all. The closure of hospitals, schools, churches, and even our own national government caused people to go without services. 

Or seek them elsewhere.

A friend expressed an opinion that would, in the public forum, likely be unpopular. I think it's a good thing people had to do without SNAP benefits. They were forced to find other resources. I hadn't considered that, but I understood the hope behind her thought process. Imagine never having to depend upon the government again; being free of all of their shenanigans and pretense at the expense of citizens. Imagine discovering a family of believers who stand with you --not only in your time of financial struggle, but when you are forced to decide next steps in the care of an aging parent --all because you went to them for food one day in October. Imagine being a taxpayer who no longer has to support the ridiculous salaries of self-serving career politicians because, through a government shutdown, we learned how to come together as citizens, to support one another, and to do away with the excess at the top. Could this ever be?

And the closure of our local hospital several months ago. As people raged and speculated over the loss of life that would occur absent the presence of our nearby trauma center, as people panicked over the burden that would place on other hospitals in our region, a thought came to my mind: Haven't we been praying for abortions to cease? Of course, they didn't cease completely, but in our little corner of the world, the reduction of resources (or difficulty obtaining them) has been a blessing. I know, unpopular; but the willingness to see how God is working even in the midst of change and pain is important.

Lastly, Pope Leo. He recently made a historic visit to Istanbul's Blue Mosque, a distinguished place of worship for Muslims, where he was invited to pray. This was a tremendous opportunity to stand with leaders of Islam in a show of unity and peace; to make a general statement about the power of prayer and the importance of worship in the lives of all people. It could have gained the pope worldwide accolades for his diplomacy and commitment to seeking faith. Instead, he declined. He took off his shoes and walked the halls of the mosque, but he refused strange fire; he stood for the worship of the One True God who is worshipped in spirit and truth. Definitely unpopular on the world stage, but integrity is rarely popular with those who are unwilling to seek it or live by it when it costs. I certainly can't speak for the leader of the Catholic Church, but I'm inclined to think that, outside of personal conviction, he understands what God can do with those who are willing to follow His rules for their lives. He can demonstrate his conviction because he knows the cost of disobedience and compromise; he can do the unexpected and unconventional because he serves a God who did the unexpected, suffered the unconventional and died to save an entire world. 

It's not popular to be positive when all the "facts," all the tangibles scream Tragedy! We're labelled hatemongers and warmongers. We're said to be anti-Christ: Christ is loving, after all. We're condemned for our exclusivity. We're chastised for our resistance to compromise. But maybe it just boils down to the ability to see what God can do. Maybe it's because those who tend to be positive, visionary, uncompromising, and unpopular have for their Master a God who can do exceedingly, abundantly above all we can ask or imagine.